Why tip 18% when you only give god 10%?
Because your waitress exists.
|—||Brian Cox and Robin Ince interview the legend himself, David Attenborough: A life measured in heartbeats (via jtotheizzoe)|
1. grow up and have children
2. hide babies all around the house
3. when my kid asks “where do babies come from?” respond with “where DON’T babies come from” and pull one out of a cabinet
example number 24876 why tumblr users shouldn’t have children
There are just too many things about this for me to handle
[Godot shows up 15 minutes late with Starbucks]
|—||Aaron Tveit (via enjolrasthechief)|